Hiei's Secret Plans
by Break My Heart
Summary: What plans does Hiei write when no one is watching? Rated PG-13 for mild language, and cruel intentions toward Kuwabara. R&R. Flames accepted. NON-YAOI!Now featuring...PLANS FOR BOTAN!
1. Plan for Kuwabara

**_Disclaimer-_**

"I created this fic. purely out of boredom." Samara says.

"Enjoy." Tiome says.

"I do not own any part of YYH...so don't sue." Samara says.

**_

* * *

_**

**_What I shall do to Kuwabaka_**

Kuwabaka shall die

I will stick a needle in his eye

Then gut him out and slice him up.

Then send him Mr.Hannibal

A nice, and friendly cannibal,

For without him the evidence would not die,

And probation would be broken,

And I'd be fried.

_Sincerely Hiei Jaganshi_

* * *

**_Disclaimer-_**

"If you didn't like it flame. If you did...you are screwed up, I suggest a mental institution. R&R. Flames accepted. Remember I don't own...you no sue." Says Samara

"You baka onna! You stole this out my book that specifically said 'KEEP OUT'!" Hiei says.

"Right. I'm going to walk into your room and just ignore the _only _book in your room...one that happens to say 'Keep out'. Thats gonna happen." Samara replies.

"Why were you in my room anyway?"

"Cause...I needed something."

"That 'something' would be?"

"Okay. I needed your guide to death."

"Why are you not afraid of my room? Like everyone else is?"

"Because it looks like a black hole. NEWS FLASH! My favorite color is black!"

Hiei has his eyes narrowed."Why did you need the guide to death anyway?"

"Heh...you see...WELL OKAY EVERYONE YOU CAN MOVE ON NOW! JA NE! R&R! FLAMES ACCEPTED!" Samara finishes.

(A/N: The 'Samara says', and 'Hiei says' were changed this way to abide by the rules. I already have one bad mark, and I don't want my story and account deleted...by the way I am Samara...but animeized. Tiome and Samara belong to me. They are both my characters. At the same time Samara is'nt me. She's me but she is just a character doing by job. There. If you don't understand...Gomen. I tried my best to explain.)


	2. Plan for Yusuke

**__**

**_Disclaimer-_**

**_"_**WOW! You're still here. I don't own YYH...so don't sue." Samara says.

"Whatever. On with the fic." Hiei says.

"You are okay with me using your private plans?" Samara says.

"Who cares? The only people that are reading this are insane otoko's, and onna's. Not the people of whom I'm speaking of." Hiei says.

"K-then. Lets Continue!" Samara says happily.

**. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . **

**_Plan for Yusuke_**

I shall torture Yusuke next.

The detective will try his best

To find the thing he admires so

The thing I've taken into my black hole.

He'll panic, frenzy, and wonder,

What has happened to his one, his only, so pure

But then he'll give up and only somber

The loss of his Vaseline bed-head cure.

_Sincerely Hiei Jaganshi_

**. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

**_Disclaimer-_**

"Well anyways...R&R. Flames accepted. Remember, I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." Samara says.

"Okay.... She does not own me or any part of YYH. Got it! You will not harm my onna!" (Hiei says).

Samara gets glassy eyes. "Your onna?"

"I never said that." Hiei quickly says.


	3. Plan for Kurama

**__**

**_Disclaimer-_**

"You love me!!!! Will you go out with me?" Samara said

"I NEVER SAID THAT!" Hiei said

Tiome pops in out of nowhere."Yes you did, you said 'my onna'" She pops out.

"God she's creepy..." Samara said

"Anyway, my onna doesn't own any part of YYH, so sueing would be useless...if you value your life." Hiei said

Samara hears very loud thunder (I really did)." Hiei! You said it again! AHHHH!!!! THUNDER! Hold me Hiei!" Samara rushes to Hiei and holds him tightly (thunder again).

Hiei is too shocked to speak.

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**_Next Victim: Kurama_**

Kurama's really on okay guy, but sometimes he gets on my nerves.

He acts so smart,

He acts so posh,

He always thinks that he's the boss.

Today will be different,

I swear to that!

Today will he act the same as everyday when I commence my little plan?

I will torture him in my own little way

Lets see how he acts

When for a day,

I take his beloved hair brush away...

_Sincerely Hiei Jaganshi_

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

**_Disclaimer-_**

Samara is still holding Hiei." I'd watch your back...Kurama has quite a few fans..."

Hiei is still to shocked to speak.

Samara hears VERY loud thunder (I do)." Hiei can you please hold me _as a friend_...I'm really scared!"

"Fine" Reluctantly holds Samara." Do not sue my onna...She does not own me nor YYH so...if you want to sue her you'll have to die, I mean deal with me first."

Samara is now hiding under Hiei's cloak (CLOAK)." YOU SAID IT AGAIN!!!"

Hiei is very annoyed." Fine, I said it. Are you happy now!"

"Very..." Samara says.

"It's just easier than saying Samara all the time.."

"Sure Hiei" Samara is very happy, smiling...Hiei cannot see her as she is still hiding under the cloak.

Hiei: R&R. Flames accepted. Ja ne.


	4. Plan for Botan

_**Disclaimer-**_

"Darn. The thunder is gone. Yet a new storm is arising" Samara says in creepy voice.

"Why are you talking so weird?" Says Hiei

"Because it's fun" Says Samara

"You do the disclaimer this time"

"Fine. I don't own any part of YYH. So it would be a waste of time sueing me."

"Fine. Can we continue with my plans now?"

"Knee deep in anticipation, are we?"

"If you don't shut up...you're not my onna anymore."

" WHA--!!?? I'm your onna?!? Since when?!?" Samara rushes to Hiei and hugs him.

* * *

**_Plans for Botan_**

The ferry girl shall meet her fate, shall meet an early end,

to killing people with her oar, from which she would always fend,

But thus this plan will do the trick, and I will not be hit with that stupid stick!

First I'll follow her and wait until, She goes to get her hyper pill,

And then I'll take it take it, and she'll panic about,

She'll wonder what happened to that agony bill

And then she'll give up, and go to cry,

And I'll have accomplished...and that oar shall die.

_Sincerely, Hiei Jaganshi_

* * *

Samara is hugging Hiei. "I love you!"

"Stupid onna. Please R&R. Flames accepted.


End file.
